This term we have been looking at ways to make our writing more interesting for the reader.
We have used the following criteria to guide us:
- Changing the word order of a sentence
- Using literary devices such as metaphor, simile, alliteration, onomatopoeia and personification
- Using specific verbs and adjectives
- Using show, don’t tell techniques
- Using different sentence beginnings and lengths
Here are some examples of my writing this term.
Show Don’t Tell - Emotions
Sad: Moping slowly into the room, I stagger curiously up to my room. Tears burst out of my eyes. Barely keeping my emotions inside my body a cry and I cry and I cry. No emotion in my face apart from a frown, I plead to my mum to not let me go to school the next day.
Tired: Crashing to the cold ground I struggle for breath. Puffing at what I had just done I couldn’t believe that I wasn’t dead. Heart pounding at the rate nots my legs were like jelly. With every ounce of strength I get back to my feet and, run.
Anger: Words spitting out of my mouth I could not control them. Veins bulge out of my neck. Clenching my fists I bellow out “NO” staggering away they had manage to scrape into my skin, finally.
Music Writing
Work Catastrophy
Just another day in the factory when the boss came in a start yelling out orders. “Double quantities of all chocolate bars they are on high demand.” Pouring the cocoa into the mixer something doesn't feel right. Now tipping in the milk I look next to me and I see my mate Bilsey. “Hey have you got plan for tonight we can go down to the pub and have a couple.” “Alright then” He said. Suddenly spinning out of control my mixer spits out 100 kgs of mixture all onto the floor. Spreading across the floor it was never going to end. It was a complete and utter catastrophe “You're in for it now” Bilsey said. Under tables and through the gaps in the doors. Suddenly a loud crash, one of my work mates slips knocking his table and machine of the table. “Noooooo!” Double the quantity alright. The creek of a door in swing runs through my ears. “Whoever did this YOU'RE FIRED!!!” and that was my day what about yours.
The Boy
Strolling out of the school gates with a sick feeling in my body. I wonder if it’s going to be another night in hell. As I think about it more and more tears roll out of my eyes. Zipping up my jersey a boy walks up to me. He looked like he was glowing. “Hello how are you going today”the boy said to me. Tilting my head even further down into my chest I carried on walking. “Hey that’s rude.” I didn’t care. Throught my eyes I could see the veins in his neck and his red face told it all I had disrespected him. Reluctantly I said “hi.” Stopping I turned around and looked him in the eyes. Straight away he stopped and his face looked like a blank canvas. “I’m not having the greatest day” I said. “Think I can see that” the boy said. He could see my tears. “Have to get home.” His face was still blank. “Hey are you ok.” “No” I strolled slowly away with my shoulder hunched and a frown on my face back into the house of hell.
The Viking Girl
Storming into the room, stomping my feet I could not believe what had happened that morning. My frown was almost touching the ground. “SCHOOL! I hate it, I hate it, I hate It. It gives me a, a disgusting taste in my mouth every time I step through that gate.” The costume had been perfect, well at least I thought it was perfect.Everybody was making fun of me, why? Slamming the door behind me “SMASH” my photo frame came off the wall. I don't care. I opened the cupboard and ripping everything out. Flopping onto my bed “I've had enough. they’re all bullies” raising one fist in the air “curse them!” I say. Waking up with bags under my eyes I look like a monster from the future. I was almost like a bomb waiting to blow up.
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